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About the Project

  This exhibit portrays close and intimate relationships between male friends. It is about making visible what is possible. It is about men who tell each other about their lives, sharing their struggles and their joys, who are able to be vulnerable and be physically close. Because such relationships are rarely portrayed in popular culture and run counter to many common images of “being a man,” there is little opportunity for men in our culture to find models for these friendships or to experience the value they can have. Sadly most people do not know that such relationships exist, or are possible. While men often turn to a woman to share feelings – whether a friend or a lover – this exhibit is about the importance of men knowing they can turn to each other as well.
   Yet, many men do experience this kind of relationship in childhood. Typically, young boys are free to roam the world of tenderness with each other, take long walks through the woods, and talk late into night. They might fall asleep together in a sleeping bag at camp or a shared bed at home in that childhood sort of way where it is safe to be close.
   Often, for males, the process of “maturing” is associated with a process of creating barriers that discourage such closeness. As a result, the world of adult male relationships often focuses on interactions based in the external world – sharing activities or talking about events. Although enjoyable, what is often missing is any focus on the internal world, the world of feelings, of caring and emotional connection, touch, and of simply having time to share, to talk and to listen.
   Still, we don’t believe that all such elements of male friendship disappear in adulthood, rather they become limited, often unspoken and hidden.  Unsure of their acceptance within themselves as well as from the wider society, men do not often display such moments of tenderness in public spaces. If they happen, they take place off-stage, where tears can flow, where silliness is safe, or where listening without interruption or distractions from the larger world becomes possible - And even where the words, I love you, can be spoken. 
   Far too often, these intimate moments are rare, scattered among and behind those barriers- both internal and external - that multiply as men move from childhood to adults. And sometimes when such moments do take place, the expectation is that the relationship will continue, but under the pretense that they had never happened – and then such closeness among becomes fleeting.
   Shifting Gears displays friendships that seem to transcend these barriers - friendships between two men where tenderness is intrinsic, where sharing joy and pain is natural, and where intimacy makes a public appearance. The idea for this project grew out of the intimate friendship that exists between two of the project principals, Neal and Robert, who became the first subjects.  As we discussed our idea with others, we would often hear: “I know someone with a friendship like that,” or “I have...”. While capturing these initial stories on film and in words, others became aware of our intent and our range grew, from teen to senior and from coast to coast.  In talking with these men about their relationships, we were struck by how valued these friendships are, not only by the male friends themselves, but by others in their lives - their spouses, parents, children and others who know them well.
   We have attempted to capture these relationships through a combination of photographs and narratives. While we hope that their stories and photos will help you reflect on the social and personal nature of these relationships, we also hope that this exhibit will provide an aesthetic experience as well - both in the photos themselves and in the beauty of seeing men who so clearly enjoy each other’s company.  But our greatest desire is that this exhibit inspires men of all ages to have and to nurture intimate friendships with each other and to find support and encouragement in the world around them.  Enjoy!

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