Matundu and Peter

Avi and Karl

Avi on Karl:

"As kids, we always knew we were best friends, there was no question about it....It was almost like he was my brother- we would spend all of our time together. We loved playing together out-side in the woods. I would sleep over at his house or he at my house. There’d be times we were sleeping in the same bed, kind of like curled up together. Our parents were never discouraging in any way. I think we were on the same wavelength on a lot of things. We had our own words that we’d come up with, it was like our own little world here...Its nice to have sort of that piece of childhood. Karl came out to me when he was 21. It seems like women and gay men can be so much more relaxed and physical with each other even if they are not in a relationship with each other. I think about my relationship with Karl and how nice to be relaxed with each other and that’s not the case for every straight guy. I think that men can be close to each other and that’s my natural way to be. Kids have no problem with knowing that it’s inappropriate. It’s not until they grow up that they have a problem from their culture..."

Karl on Avi:
"I've always considered Avi such a close friend that I didn't often compare him to others, especially other male friends of mine growing up. Lots of boys start to act tough and macho as they get older but that never occurred to Avi and me. I think that as 14 year old boys we were very unusual that we would hug, laugh, cry, and it never seemed strange. We did have a special bond so anything we shared was just very natural for us....With Avi there's just this inherent sense of a very intimate relationship that doesn't always have to be spoken. It's this idea that I just don't question it, you know like the intimacy is there, it has al-ways been there, and I have absolutely no doubt it will always be there.
I came out as being openly gay when I was 21. Even before my parents, before any of my other friends I told Avi. He was just immediately supportive and we talked a lot about growing up then and different ways I felt about people you know and we just had a very bonding moment. As a gay man I have no sexual tension with Avi, and as a straight man, he feels no sense of threat or no sense of insecurity with himself..."
 

Jared and David

Jon and Andy

Jesse and Trevor

Joel and Jules

Joel of Jules:
"The thing that hit me about Jules when we first met was that there was no facade We just clicked. Our relationship is about just being open and incredibly honest about what’s going on, and how we’re going to just be ourselves. When something is going on for him that is hard, I think, this is my friend who has these issues in his life right now, they are very significant to him, and because they are significant to him they are very significant to me.
In college I had some wonderful women best friends who are still very very close friends of mine, and it was just hard to find guys, even one or two males, who I could really con-nect with, with the same kind of intensity that I was able to talk to some of my women friends. So it was something I was lacking in my life and that I was conscious of lacking. I think I was really avid and hungry for it when I came to Ithaca, and Jules has been a person with whom that has happened. I’ve been painfully disappointed in some other men in my life with whom I was hoping to and actually tried to create this kind of connection with and it didn’t happen. It makes me appreciate all that much more what I have with Jules...."

Jules on Joel:
"Our relationship has just incredible supportiveness and compassion and love and beyond. I can’t imagine having much of a genuine friendship unless you’re in synch on core values, and we are. He’s very unguarded about what he says which is a quality that I really love. Over the years I have really not trusted men…mostly be-cause of interactions I had with my father. So I’d never had really any kind of strong long term relationship with a man before because when I’d open up to a man and lay myself out as vulnerable to a man, in the past I got chewed badly. It took me a good part of my life to try to open up, and find men with whom I can do that with. For me, Joel has been like this solid rock island of certainty. I see myself be-ing in this friendship with Joel up to the time that I die..."
 

Brent and Nick

Zach and Jason

Zach on Jason:
"I wasn’t emotionally close where I could talk to a guy friend about my problems or anything like that until I met Jason. In pre-school and kindergarten, another boy and I could sit there laughing, giggling, hugging each other and it would be fine. When we first met, Jason just kind of had an aura about him. He seemed really relaxed like you could tell him anything...and he seemed like he was just a very easy person to be around. When we talk it just comes out, like we’re not afraid to say anything to each other at all… and if something is hard for me to deal with… all he’s going to do for me is hold my hand..."

Jason on Zach:
"When we first met, we knew we were going to be friends forever. We won’t do an activity without the other person. It seems like we don’t say a lot of words - we just under-stand. Other times we just talk....and we’ll not stop talking. I went through a lot of tough things with my girlfriend this year, and I would just be like crying and crying and I’d go over and talk to my counselor at school and I’d go talk to Zack. Like about every stress and emotion, when I’m sad or if I need something. If anything is like wrong you need to get off your chest. It feels good to get it off your chest. Because you can do that as girl, why can’t you do that with a guy?"